How to Speak with Confidence (Even When You’re Second-Guessing Everything

• Have you ever walked into a meeting, heart pounding, knowing you have something valuable to say but still held your tongue?
• Have you ever rehearsed your words a dozen times in your mind, only to shrink back when it was your turn to speak?

You’re not alone. Many of the most brilliant women I coach especially those over 40 who’ve already achieved so much still find themselves battling an inner critic louder than any boardroom voice.

Let me be the one to tell you: Your voice is not the problem. The problem is the story you’ve been told and the one you keep repeating. I want to help you change that story.

We’re diving into one of the most transformational skills you can develop at any stage of life or leadership:

Whether you’re leading a team, navigating a career pivot, or stepping up to speak on a bigger stage, confidence in your voice is the bridge between where you are and the impact you’re meant to have. Let’s unpack why this matters and how to begin making that shift today.

The Real Reason You Second-Guess Yourself

Second-guessing isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s a signal, one that often traces back to years of being told:

• “You’re too emotional.”
• “You should let someone else speak.”
• “What if you say the wrong thing?”
• “Don’t be too much.”

These messages create what I call “inherited doubt.” Even when we’ve proven ourselves professionally or personally, that echo of old fear can linger in the background:

“Who am I to speak up?”

The truth is: Confidence isn’t a personality trait. It’s a muscle. And the more you use your voice, the stronger you build that muscle.

You don’t wait to feel ready, you build your readiness by showing up.

Why Confidence is a Leadership Skill, Not a Luxury

In my coaching work with women, I often say:

“Speaking isn’t just about being heard. It’s about being seen.”

When you shrink your voice, you shrink your influence. When you downplay your opinions, you rob your audience of the wisdom only you can offer.

And when you speak with confidence not perfection you create ripples. In your family. In your business. In your legacy.

5 Daily Practices to Speak with Confidence (Even When You’re Doubting Yourself)

Let’s get practical. Confidence is built in small, deliberate actions.

Here are five daily practices to strengthen your voice:

1. Silence Your Inner Critic, Not Your Voice

That critical voice that whispers, “You’ll mess this up,” isn’t truth—it’s an outdated survival mechanism.

Try this:

• Name it. Say, “Oh, that’s doubt again.”
• Flip it. Say, “It’s safe for me to speak. I don’t need to be perfect to be powerful.”
• Take one brave step. Say one thing today that matters to you, out loud.

2. Own Your Opinion (Without Apologising for It)

Too many women preface their truth with, “Sorry, just my opinion.” Stop minimizing what you’ve earned the right to say.

Try this:

• Drop the disclaimers.
• Stand in your experience it has weight.
• Let your truth land without overexplaining. That’s leadership.

3. Speak in Rooms That Intimidate You

Comparison is confidence’s kryptonite. But when you walk into intimidating spaces, remember: they’re not better than you they’re just louder.

Try this:

• Power pose. Shoulders back, eyes soft, chin up.
• Ask: “What does this room need that I already have?”
• Speak once. Then breathe. The more you practice, the easier it gets.

4. Speak as the Woman You’re Becoming

Confidence doesn’t come first. Action does. Embody the version of you who already trusts herself.

Try this:

• Mirror ritual: Speak one truth to your reflection each morning.
• Record yourself. Watch with compassion. Notice your power.
• Ask, “What would she say?” Then say that.

5. Make Your Message Matter

Your voice is a gift. When you speak, you give others permission to do the same.

Try this:

• Anchor your message in purpose. Who are you helping by speaking?
• Speak from your core values. That’s where true influence lives.
• Celebrate the act of showing up not perfection.

My Journey: From Shrinking to Standing Tall

Years ago, I was the woman who second-guessed every word. I smiled in meetings, but rarely spoke my full truth. Even in my personal life the same was the case. As the saying goes “How you do one thing is how you do everything”. I was afraid of being “too much.” Of not being liked. Of saying the wrong thing.

And then life demanded I show up fully. A health crisis, career shifts, and single motherhood became the forge for my voice.

I began saying what I really felt. I stopped apologising for being powerful and compassionate. I took the mic and realised I’d never needed permission in the first place.

Why This Matters Now More Than Ever

In 2025, we are still navigating a world that doubts women’s expertise especially when we speak with emotion, with clarity, with fire. But the world doesn’t change when we stay silent. It changes when we raise our voices.

If you are:

• A professional woman navigating the second half of life
• A leader craving to lead with clarity and calm
• A creative, coach, or entrepreneur with something to say
• A woman navigating family life and career
• A woman working in her home

…then your voice isn’t optional. It’s essential.

You are the message your audience needs to hear.

Ready to Rise?

If this message speaks to your soul, I invite you to do two things:

1. Join my “Powerfully You” Summit this September a gathering of dynamic women leaders committed to rewriting the rules of confidence, communication, and impact. Watch out for more information
2. Book a 90-minute Breakthrough Session with me if you’re ready to silence the self-doubt, rewire your confidence, and own your voice in every room you walk into.

Let me leave you with this:

You don’t have to wait for confidence to arrive. You build it moment by moment. Word by word. Truth by truth.

You were not meant to shrink. You were born to speak, lead, and shine.

Let’s do this together.

With bold belief in your brilliance,

Ebi Self-Worth & Mental Fitness Coach

Helping women speak with clarity, lead with courage, and live fully aligned with who they truly are.