Mirror Work: Rewriting the Story You Tell Yourself

Have you ever avoided looking in the mirror not just out of habit, but because deep down, you didn’t like the person staring back at you?

I’ve been there. And if you’re honest, maybe you have too.

For many of us especially as professional women, mothers, daughters, partners, leaders; the mirror can be a confronting space. It reflects not only our physical selves but the inner story we carry. The quiet self-judgments. The pain of past failures. The fear of not being enough.

But what if I told you that mirror could become a place of power, not pain? What if you could use it to not only see yourself but to reclaim yourself?

That’s where mirror work comes in.

Mirror work isn’t about vanity. It’s not about fixing your appearance or faking confidence. It’s about getting honest with the person in the reflection. It’s about choosing to show up with compassion and rewrite the inner dialogue that’s been holding you back.

Let’s take a deep breath and walk into the mirror together.

Mirror work is a simple but powerful practice which has been made popular by Louise Hay, designed to help you build self-love, self-acceptance, and healing by looking at yourself directly in the mirror and speaking affirmations or truths aloud.

But for me and the women I coach it goes beyond surface-level affirmations. It’s about meeting yourself. It’s about confronting the inner critic. And most importantly, it’s about reprogramming the beliefs that have been quietly shaping how you live, love, and lead.

If you’ve ever said to yourself:

“I’m not good enough.”
“I don’t deserve love unless I earn it.”
“I always mess things up.”
“I have to be strong for everyone else.”

Then mirror work gives you the space to interrupt those thoughts and replace them with truths that uplift rather than diminish you.

The first time you try to do mirror work, it feels awkward. Even silly. You might laugh. Or cry. Or feel totally blank. You may even look away. That’s normal.

Most of us aren’t taught to connect with ourselves. We’re taught to achieve, perform, take care of others, and suppress our own needs. So standing still and saying something like, “I love you” to your own reflection can feel uncomfortable almost rebellious.

But that discomfort is the doorway to healing

It’s in that moment where your instinct is to look away or dismiss yourself that the deepest opportunity lies: to stay. To look with compassion instead of criticism. To begin speaking life over yourself instead of judgment.

When you consistently show up for yourself in the mirror, something begins to shift:

• You stop seeking validation from the outside.
• You become more aware of your inner critic and learn how to quiet her.
• You feel more grounded in your worth, even on hard days.
• You begin to believe what you say to trust your own voice.

This work rewires your inner dialogue. It invites your subconscious mind to absorb new truths. And over time, the words you speak to your reflection become the reality you live out in the world.

Because the truth is this: You are always telling yourself a story.

The question is; is that story empowering you or limiting you?

Here’s a gentle framework to help you begin rewriting the story you tell yourself through mirror work. You can use this over five days or simply take one step at a time.

• Most of us avoid the mirror. Or we glance quickly and move on.
• Today, take a few moments to simply look without judgment. Look into your own eyes. Say your name gently. Let yourself be seen.
• Practice: Say one kind, honest thing to yourself in the mirror today. Something as simple as, “You’re doing your best, and I’m proud of you.”

Why it matters: You’re beginning to rebuild trust with yourself. Compassion is the foundation for every story worth rewriting.

Now that you’ve met yourself, let’s go deeper.

• What do you usually say to yourself when you’re tired, stressed, or disappointed? What tone does your inner voice use?
• Today’s focus is on interrupting that inner critic and replacing it with intention.
• Practice: Say this out loud: “I am worthy of love, even when I don’t feel perfect. My mistakes do not define me.”
• Feel free to change the words, but make sure they speak directly to the part of you that feels most unworthy.

Why it matters: The stories you tell yourself in hard moments are the ones that shape your identity the most. Rewriting those scripts gives you emotional freedom.

It’s time to release the roles and labels that no longer serve you.

• Were you raised to be the strong one, the people pleaser, the one who never asks for help? Those roles may have helped you survive but now they’re suffocating your growth.
• Practice: Write a new identity statement. One that honours the woman you’re becoming. Say to the mirror: “I am no longer available for self-neglect or playing small. I reclaim my worth.”

Why it matters: When you name what you’re letting go of, you create space for who you truly are to emerge.

Consistency creates belief. Now that you’ve started rewriting the story, you need a rhythm to reinforce it. Choose a daily affirmation or mantra that feels true to the version of yourself you are growing into. Stand in front of the mirror each morning (or evening), and say it with conviction.

Examples:

“I am more than enough.”
“I trust myself.”
“I speak up for my needs without apology.”

Practice: Create a 2-minute daily ritual with your mirror. Breathe, affirm, connect.

Why it matters: The daily repetition of loving, grounded words builds emotional muscle. It anchors your worth in your own voice not the opinions of others.

The final piece? Giving yourself permission to be seen. Not the polished version. Not the perfectionist. The real you, flaws, gifts, quirks and all.

This day is about internal validation, learning to acknowledge your progress and truth without waiting for others to approve.

Practice: Look into the mirror and say:

“I see you.
I hear you.
I honor the woman you are becoming.”

And mean it.

Why it matters: You are your first witness. Your first champion. Mirror work helps you reclaim that role fully.

Every time you walk past a mirror, you have a choice: to criticise or to connect.

When you choose connection, you begin to shift the entire narrative of your life. You stop chasing external validation. You stop performing. You stop apologising for who you are.

Instead, you begin to walk through life as someone deeply rooted in self-worth, someone who no longer waits to be chosen or acknowledged… because you’ve already chosen yourself.

That’s the real magic of mirror work. It’s not about becoming someone new. It’s about finally seeing who you’ve been all along.

1. Who are you becoming as you rewrite your story?
2. What part of yourself feels the hardest to face with compassion?
3. What stories have you been telling yourself in the mirror and are they still serving you?

I invite you to start small. Just two minutes a day. Look in the mirror. Breathe. Speak truth. And watch what unfolds when you begin to see yourself with love.

You are powerful. You are worthy. And the story you’re rewriting? It’s already changing lives starting with yours.

With heart, Ebi